Throughout my life, I have accomplished major achievements like saying my first words (nanna nanna boo boo), riding my bike without training wheels, first day of school, perfect attendance, running in the state c-c meet, etc... These achievements from what I can remember made me nervous, gave me an adrenaline rush, and a dash anxiety.
A step up from the major achievements are major milestones that have occurred in my life like graduating from HS/ College, getting married, and of course the birth of my first child. While these milestone happened, the feelings were much different than those of major achievements. Instead of nerves or anxiety, my emotions were ironically absent. It seems more of a dream than reality. I have more of a drugged or dazed response to what is happening. It is almost like an out of body experience.
This is odd especially for Asa's delivery. Throughout Devanee's pregnancy, I have been more emotional. Commercials, movie previews, and books made me cry. I'm not a crier but it happened. I was honestly scared of what my response could have been like when I got to see/hold him for the first time. However, the wailing of tears, gnashing of teeth, and my ugly cry-face never took place. I remember very distinctly that my jaw dropped and I stared blankly at this purple squirming baby. I shook my head and told myself "smile Stuart"...and I did.
2 comments:
Look at that picture! I told you he has big lips. :)
And I bet you haven't stopped smiling!
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